KC Ciresi
A Healing Renovation
David Rios and his fraternity rebuild both their house and support system after loss of fellow brother in their chapter house.
For the brothers of WKU's chapter of Lambda Chi Alpha, fraternity life is more than social events and fun. It’s a bond rooted in care and accountability. This virtue became more evident in the wake of their brother Jay's tragic passing.
"From a literal standpoint, we are a brotherhood," member David Rios said. "We’re supposed to treat each other, love each other, and take care of each other as if we are brothers, if not closer."
"From a literal standpoint, we are a brotherhood," member David Rios said. "We’re supposed to treat each other, love each other, and take care of each other as if we are brothers, if not closer."
David Rios and his fraternity brother, Jacob McConnell, celebrate homecoming and enjoy a stress-free night before working on their chapter house renovations the next day.
Men account for nearly 80% of all suicides in the United States, particularly young men. This reality hits home for individuals like David, who are left to navigate the profound and often isolating aftermath of losing a loved one to mental health struggles.
On February 7th, a chilling message from the fraternity’s risk management chair changed the rest of Rios’s life: his fraternity brother and roommate, Jay Howard, had taken his own life. Described as a hard worker and a kind soul, Howard left a lasting impact on his fraternity. "He was always there for me, always there for everybody," Rios said.
The loss has forced the fraternity to confront the importance of mental health head-on. Members admit it’s been difficult to return to the space where the tragedy occurred. "It’s very hard for people to walk into the same space," Rios explained. “Some of the guys who found him still don’t feel super comfortable in there.”
On February 7th, a chilling message from the fraternity’s risk management chair changed the rest of Rios’s life: his fraternity brother and roommate, Jay Howard, had taken his own life. Described as a hard worker and a kind soul, Howard left a lasting impact on his fraternity. "He was always there for me, always there for everybody," Rios said.
The loss has forced the fraternity to confront the importance of mental health head-on. Members admit it’s been difficult to return to the space where the tragedy occurred. "It’s very hard for people to walk into the same space," Rios explained. “Some of the guys who found him still don’t feel super comfortable in there.”
Rios reflects on his history in the gym while looking at updated renovations. "We change everything [after a death] because nothing is the same."
In an effort to heal and honor Jay’s memory, the fraternity took on a project to renovate their gym. "We had already planned on doing some updates," he said. Within months, they began purchasing equipment and completing the upgrades, a physical reminder of their resilience and commitment to moving forward.
The tragedy has reshaped how the fraternity approaches mental health. "When people think about frat guys, they aren’t the type of people you’d think expressly care about mental health," Rios said. "But we have firsthand proof that we have feelings, just like everybody else."
The tragedy has reshaped how the fraternity approaches mental health. "When people think about frat guys, they aren’t the type of people you’d think expressly care about mental health," Rios said. "But we have firsthand proof that we have feelings, just like everybody else."
David and his fraternity brother Jacob McConnell spend their Friday evenings in their new town house that they moved into after liviing in the chapter house with Jay. "The new start is bittersweet honestly, we still took all of his stuff with us."
Today, the brothers of Lambda Chi are channeling their grief into advocacy. They regularly donate to anti-suicide foundations and are planning events like 5Ks to raise awareness about mental health. Through their efforts, they hope to dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health struggles and remind others of the importance of checking in on one another.
"Individually, it’s like a puzzle, and everybody gets a few pieces, and nobody is expected to complete that puzzle. But then once someone passes, and you have all the puzzle pieces, it all makes sense,” Rios said."
Lambda Chi Alpha is determined to ensure that no one else’s puzzle goes unfinished.
"Individually, it’s like a puzzle, and everybody gets a few pieces, and nobody is expected to complete that puzzle. But then once someone passes, and you have all the puzzle pieces, it all makes sense,” Rios said."
Lambda Chi Alpha is determined to ensure that no one else’s puzzle goes unfinished.