Faith through the Fight
Tracy Hill has spent the last thirty-six years living with lupus, an autoimmune disease that leads to chronic fatigue and kidney problems. Throughout her daily struggles with the illness, she finds that her faith gives her the will to continue on.
A documentary by Emilee Arnold

Tracy Hill was only 17 when her symptoms started.


At first, she kept fevers of 103-104 with no clear cause. Aching limbs kept her up throughout the night, restless and crying with pain. Her mother, Kathleen, she says, would stay awake to rub her legs and arms, just as confused as her daughter at the unexplainable source of the discomfort.


Doctors guessed a number of causes for the symptoms, from a common cold to Hodgkin’s disease. None could seem to determine the exact cause of her pain. Eventually, though, further testing and consultation yielded an answer: a diagnosis of systemic lupus erythematosus, an incurable autoimmune disease. Tracy’s immune system was attacking her own cells.

Lupus is estimated to affect an estimated 1.5 million people in the United States, ninety percent of them women. The disease, while not always outwardly visible, has oftentimes disabling effects on the body, ranging from chronic fatigue and exhaustion to joint pain, headaches, and hair loss. Hill, who says that her doctor deemed her one of the ten worst cases in the nation at the time of her diagnosis, has undergone chemotherapy for the disease six times, as well as dialysis after a life-threatening flareup.

Tracy holds her husband Stuart's hand, her own hands disfigured by the effects of systemic lupus. "God knew what he was doing when he gave me Stuart," she says. "He's very protective. He's been like a rock."

Hill's first major episode came soon after her diagnosis, when the sudden death of her mother sent a shock through her system. “The lupus just came out haywire,” she said. “I ended up having to go on chemotherapy, and I had to do a spinal, and I was really near death. They called the family up and everything.”


Since receiving a kidney transplant from her cousin in 2006, Hill has been in partial remission. Still, for her, every day is unpredictable. Minor colds can be life-threatening, and severe headaches or muscle pain keep her bed-bound on many days in a given week.

90%

of lupus patients are women (Lupus Foundation of America)

10-15%

of lupus patients will die prematurely from lupus complications (Lupus Foundation of America)

A CPAP machine rests by Tracy and Stuart's shared bed. Sleep apnea is common in patients with systemic lupus erythematosus.

To cope with the illness, Hill says, she turns to her relationship with her husband, Stuart, and her faith in God.


"When we first got married, I was on chemo, and that tells you what a good man Stuart is. We've been there a lot for each other, but he's had the brunt of having to be there more for me than I have for him," she said. "When we took our vows, you know, we said we're going to help each other through sickness and through health. And that's what we do."


"There's been good days, and there's been a lot of hard, hard days. I don't want to say they were bad days, because each day is a gift. I'm just thankful that I'm still here. I've been blessed a thousand times over."

A picture of Tracy and Stuart hangs from the wall in their bedroom, framed by a figurine of a couple.